This little piggy.....

I am kind of obsessed with baby M's feet at the moment.  They are the chubbiest, most perfect little feet EVER!  There is something about baby feet that make my heart melt.  The novelty quickly wears off once they are up and running....running up and down the stairs, 50 million times, when they are supposed to be in bed.  The pitter patter of those little feet that once melted my heart make me want to scream at the top of my lungs, GO TO SLEEP!!  For the love of GOD, take those precious little piggies and march your sweet little asses back up stairs and GO TO SLEEP!  One needs water, one wants to cuddle, one needs his covers "fixed", one can't find his book, one wants this lamp off, one wants his fan on.  Mommy just wants to sit on the couch.  Mommy hasn't sat on the couch ALL DAY.  Mommy loves you all SO much.  Mommy just wants you to take your piggies back to bed and stay there, please, AMEN.

Brett World = It's ALL good man

Okay, so I have always left our names out of this blog.  There are some crazy people in this world....if you are one of them, get some help, for real, and stop reading my blog. There is a world, I call it "Brett World".  This is a world that I've coined for my dear husband.  You see, in "Brett World" the grass is always green, the flowers are always in bloom, the beer is always flowing and lap dances are given 24-7 (this is when I have to say, "wake the fuck up").  So, it's Friday night.  The end of the week. Time for a bottle, or 2, of wine.  Time to relax.  So... the night went like this.  I went to the store and was gone for less than 30 minutes.  I turned down our street to see a police officer sitting in front of our house.  Well, his car was in front of our house, he was actually standing in our driveway.  As I see him, I see our middles running along the sidewalk, with a couple of the neighborhood kids, AND I see our dog.  Our fucking dog who once spots an opportunity; a crack in the door, one of the middles running outside, the fence swinging open, he bolts.  Bolts with determination in his eyes, like a lion chasing his prey.  I pull into the driveway.  I know that the kids are safe, because I see them.  What/WHO I don't see is my dear husband.  "Hi officer, this is my house and that is my dog", I say with a smile, with my grocery bag containing 2 bottles of red, 1 bottle of Prosecco and some chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels (don't judge).  "That's your dog?" the officer asks.  "Yes, sir, sorry about that, the boys let him out all of the time, not on purpose, but once he gets out, he becomes possessed and won't listen to anyone, eventually he comes home, he is a smart dog, my husband is around here somewhere, probably with the baby, those are my boys, I'm really sorry about this".  Shut up, seriously, just shut up.  Good lord, is this REALLY happening???  "You know, I really should issue you a ticket, dogs can't be running the neighborhood.  People will start calling about a dog running lose, it's not safe" he replied.  Really, dude?  This is what you are focusing on tonight, go fight some real crime, for the love of God.    AND, where the HELL IS Brett??  I calmly ask H, with a smile on my face to,  "go find daddy, NOW".  "I am confident that you have this under control, ma'am", he politely says to me.   Yep, sure do.  Do you see my middle-little running around without shoes on?  Do you see my older middle, jumping on the trampoline without a care in the world? Do you see my husband, NO?  I don't either, so we have that in common.    Nothing says, "Happy Friday" like running out to the store and leaving the hubs home with the boys, only to return to a police office standing in front of your house, your middles running around the streets and your dog whoring himself around the neighborhood with the hubs nowhere insight.  Where was Brett?  He was inside, with M in one hand and trying to update his Facebook status with the other....life if rough in "Brett World".    SO glad I went to the store to buy wine......

Busta Rhyme

S is all about rhyming words lately and I've got to say, he is really good at it.  Yesterday threw me for a bit of a loop, but coming from S, anything is possible.  The conversation between S and H went like this;

S: "Stick and Dick rhyme, right?"
H: "Um, yes, do you know what THAT is?"
S: "What, dick? It's something you eat?"
H: "Mommy, did you JUST hear him?  Isn't dick a REALLY, REALLY, bad word for something?"
Me: "Yes, it is.  Do you know what it is?"
H: "No? But I don't think it's something you eat"
Me: "Correct, time to go"

End of conversation.  Until.....later that evening at the park.  When S was running around chanting, "Stick and Dick, Stick and Dick, Stick and Dick".  Proud mommy moment?  I think not.

My boys

Easter turned out to be an amazing day, from start to finish.  The boys had a great time finding eggs and opening up their Easter baskets....M and I slept through that part, oops!  Thanks B, for holding down the fort and waking up at 6am, you are the bomb.  The boys had candy for breakfast, this had kind of become a tradition on Easter, think whatever you would like about that.  We missed church (not such an amazing part of the day :( )  Will try harder next year.  We met my mom for brunch, which was great.  SO thankful for a strong bloody mary(s) and 3 boys who have FINALLY learned how to be well behaved in a restaurant.  Then it was a quick stop at Grandmas house.  This gets a little tricky.  Grandma is not used to all of the commotion that comes along with my boys.  She asks them to be quiet, I just sit back, is she kidding?  This usually leads to a shortened visit, but SO nice, non the less.  When we came home, every kid in the neighborhood was out.  LOVE this time of year and our neighborhood.  B and I sat on the porch and enjoyed the evening.  SO looking forward to summer nights, stiff drinks, great neighbors and my favorite boys.

If you don't believe, you don't receive

I knew the time would come when O would start questioning if there really was a Santa, if the Easter bunny was real and if the tooth fairy is really a fairy.  I didn't think, nor did I expect, today to be the day....holy Christ.  It started with the tooth fairy.  "There really isn't a tooth fairy, is there?"  "Go ahead, google it".  Google it??  What was life like before google?  HOW did my parents help me with my math homework?  How did they answer random questions,  they really had no idea how to answer?  I'm not going lie, I rely on google as my right hand man when B is at work.  Google has gotten us out of some sticky situations and has made 4th grade math SO much easier.   Oh Google, you have helped us with, math homework, identifying birds outside, confirming species of insects found under rocks, and the list goes on, and on...and on.  I certainly wasn't going to google, "is the tooth fairy real" because I knew damn well that the answer would be "NO", blinking in big bold red letters.  SO, I do what I do best, danced around it and changed the subject, lightning speed.  Next up, the Easter bunny.  "Is the Easter bunny real?" And this is when B and I threw out one of our favorites, "If you don't believe, you don't receive".  This usually shuts them up right away, and today was no exception.  I know the day is quickly approaching that we are going to need to sit O down and lay it all out there. I'm not just talking about the holidays, I'm also talking about the birds and bees.  Brett and I have already rock/paper/scissored that one and it's ALL him.....or maybe we will just leave it up to google :)

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, OH BOY!!!

It was right around this time, last year, when we found out that I was preggers with BOY #4.  I remember the call, clear as day.  I sat down on S's bed, the sun was shining through the blinds, I was waiting for this call for 5 LONG days.  I think, in the back of mind, I knew it was going to be a boy....or maybe I mentally prepared myself, like I had done with the other 3.  A huge part of me really thought it was going to be a girl.  The first few months of my pregnancy  were completely different than my other 3 pregnancies.  I really thought, since we weren't trying for #4, that God really wanted us to have that girl.  God's funny sometimes...  At the time, I thought I was being punished.  That's bad to say, right?   I mean, we were already dealing with 3 boys.  3 BOYS, who are nonstop action, nonstop talking, nonstop mess makers, nonstop pretty much everything EXCEPT for sitting still for longer than 3 minutes.  Stillness does not exist in our house, ever.  HOW were we going to be able to deal with another one?  The minute M was born, and I looked at him, every single question and fear flew out the window.  How would we mange?  We would love him, just like the other 3, and the other 3 were going to love him, just like they love each other.  That's it.   Our family is not perfect.  I am FAR from perfect.  B will claim he is perfect, I would maybe classify him as imperfectly perfect.  Our boys, SO not perfect, but adorable, REALLY adorable.  There are days, oh there are crazy, crazy days.  When I see my little men together, I couldn't even imagine a different dynamic.  They will grow up being best friends. Best friends that; fight,  love, argue, wrestle, laugh, cry and talk about bodily functions at the dinner table.  At the end of the day, per mom's orders, they will love each other, there is no other option. Who doesn't love to be loved?

Taking my practice off of the mat

I have been a lover of yoga for about 3 years now.  It is my escape and when I am on the mat, I feel like the strongest person alive.  I try, try, TRY, to remember the calmness that I feel on the mat, and bring that with me into my everyday life.  It's hard, REALLY hard.  M is currently cutting a tooth and operation get M to take bottle has been an epic fail.  Now that the days are longer, the boys want to stay up later, which means less quiet time at night for B and I.  Last night our instructor started class by saying, "close your eyes and imagine yourself in a place that makes you feel at peace"  The first thing that popped into my mind was, me running through a field of wildflowers.  I was a bit taken back by this, because it didn't really feel "right".  By the beach, lounging at the pool, maybe, but running through a field of wildflowers?  Odd.  But, I went with it. I left that class last night feeling complete peacefulness.  Typically the feeling lasts until I pull into the driveway, open the garage and hear the pitter-patter of little feet running to the door to greet me and tell me everything I missed while I was gone an entire 2 hours.  Last night, I pulled up to a dark house and the minivan MIA from the driveway.  I walked into the house, SILENCE.  I took a deep breath and what seemed like an eternity, took in every single second of that breath in and once again, as you end yoga practice, let it all go.  B had taken the boys to O's soccer practice and then to the store.  I had 15 minutes to myself, MYSELF!  When B walked in, the madness resumed, immediately, to be expected of course. As much as I enjoyed the silence, the little voices, pitter-patter of feet, and hugs and kisses from my little men is almost as peaceful as my yoga practice, ALMOST....in an entirely different way.

Liar, Liar pants on fire

M had his 6 month checkup today and is growing like a weed!  Maybe this explains why he has been waking up 2-3 times at night for the past month, but probably not.  The Dr. told me that we should be letting him cry it out, for up to an hour and he should be sleeping through the night (at 4 months).  I was going to ask her if she would like to come over, between the hours of 11pm-7am, but then I remembered that she would see that not only are we NOT letting him cry it out but we are breaking every other rule that I told her we were following.  "Does he sleep in his own bed", she asked.  He sure does....I left out the part about it being for about 2 hours at night and maybe, maybe if he is super tired, for 20 minutes during the day.  All other times he is snug as a bug in our bed.  "No pillows, bumper pads or blankets in bed with him, correct", she asked as she starred me in the eye.  Correct....except for when he is in his bed and he is snuggled up to his favorite blanket and when he is wedged between B and I in the middle of the night, cuddled up to his favorite pillow and nestled under a cozy blanket.  "Are you still breastfeeding", she smiled.  I sure am.  "Good for you", she said, "keep it up".  I smiled back.  What I wanted to say to her was, I sure am and it SUCKS.  I'm over it, I want my boobs back and I want to wear a real bra and go back to my normal size, non-milk inflated boobs. But, I didn't.  I'm not sure what I was afraid of? It's not like she was going to yell at me, or would she?  Would she think that I was a terrible mother?  Surely not, but in the back of mind, that's what I was thinking.  It kind of takes me back to my days of therapy.  I pretty much flunked out of that one.  I wasn't willing to divulge the entire reason I was there, the Dr. would clearly think that I was a complete crazy person....or maybe just a normal person, with "issues".  Let's be honest, we ALL have issues, it's just admitting that we do that takes courage.   I'm still working on it....10 years later.  I'll get there, one day.  

I don't know how you do it???

"I don't know how you do it?"  I get this question, A LOT.  From my friends, cashiers at the store, random passerbyers (is that a real word?), and depending on my mood and my kids mood, the answer can go one of two ways.

On a good day, my answers are pretty simple.  I do it because I am the luckiest person on the planet.  I mean, just look at these beautiful little people that B and I created.  I do it, because I am blessed to call it my job.  I do it, because my better half, my best friend, the world's best father is at my side, helping me do it.  I do it, because God granted us with 4 healthy and happy baby boys.  I do it, because I could not imagine loving anyone more than my boys.  I do it, because I am their mom and God apparently thinks I am a Bad Ass!

On a bad day, I still truly believe ALL of these things, however, in the back of my mind, when this question is asked, I think to myself.....I don't fucking know, HOW I do it, I just do.  I probably haven't showered today, I can tell you I haven't washed my hair since.....I don't even know.  I was up at least 2 times last night, trying to get M to go back to sleep and when he finally did fall asleep, I was wide awake for another hour.  I rarely, if ever, take all 4 of them anywhere that requires all of us getting out of the car.  When the clock strikes 3:20, I cringe because  I know my oldest two will be walking in the door in 3 minutes and the CRAZINESS will be begin.   I know I will sit with O for at least an hour going over homework, spelling words, studying for tests, etc., while the other 3 patiently wait for some attention to be given to them. I know that when I start making dinner, S will complain that he is hungry NOW, M will want to eat or be held, O will still be finishing up homework and H, H just won't stop talking and then S joins him.  While all of this is going on, I keep staring at the clock, counting down the hours, minutes, seconds until B walks in the door.  Poor B.....sometimes I feel for him, walking into a madhouse and a hot mess of a wife, and sometimes, I am jealous of him.  Jealous that he has a job, jealous for the time he gets driving in the car to and from work, in silence.  Jealous that he communicates with adults, all day.  But also thankful, that he is able to provide for us and our munchkins.  Thank you, B, I know I don't say it enough.

At the end of the day, I don't know how I do it, but I just do.  Everyday is different, everyday has challenges, everyday I want to pull my hair out. Every night, I say goodnight and sweet dreams to the 4 biggest miracles of my life and when I give them a kiss and hug and say "I love you", I've done it!

Gone Daddy Gone

B rarely travels for work, which is such a huge blessing.  I remember when O was a baby and B was gone half of the month, I was working and let me just tell you, it was awful.   Now that we have 4 munchkins, I could not even imagine him travelling.  As much as I would love to go back to work, nothing is better than sitting on the couch, watching Ellen and eating bonbons all day (sorry, just a little joke between B and I).  B has been gone for 24 hours, about 6 more to go.  When B is gone, the boys are on their best behavior.  I'm not sure what he says to them when he leaves, but whatever it is, it works.  Last night, our little was fast asleep by 7:30 and the other 3 were all in bed by 8.  Now, around 8:05, our middle-little came into our room  and said, "mommy, when I have a nightmare tonight, can I come running into your bed"?  Of course, now go back to bed.  Around 8:10, my middle came in and said, "mommy, can I sleep with you tonight"? Nope, go back to bed.  Around 8:30 I heard the sound of a YouTube video coming from my oldest room (he was supposed to be reading).  He thought I wouldn't hear his IPod that he snuck into his room, WRONG, hand it over little dude.  About 8:45, I heard the pitter-patter of little feet, the feet of H, tip toeing into O's bedroom.  "Do you know that mommy has utters?  Two HUGE utters" WHAT?  By this point, I was too tired to go in there and set him straight.  We've had the "utter" talk several times, but for whatever reason, H still thinks I'm part cow. FANTASTIC and clearly a sign that I need to stop nursing M in front of the boys .   I guess that was all he wanted to tell his big brother.  Just like that, he went back to his room.  By 9pm, ALL 4 of my boys were sound asleep, perhaps with the visual of my utters, dancing around in their heads.  Good Lord.

The clock strikes 4

When OH When will our little man sleep through the night?  We were spoiled, obviously.  O was sleeping through the night, 12 HOURS, by 8 weeks, H was doing the same thing around the same time and S....well S, I don't even remember, but I know it was nothing like what our little is throwing our way.    M woke up last night at, midnight, 4 and 6...Oh, and again at 7 because everyone else was up.    The night before, he slept a solid 9 HOURS!  It was pure bliss.  I had this glimmer of hope that we had turned the corner.  The thing about our little is, he likes to keep us on our toes.  Will he take a nap?  If he takes a nap, will it be a catnap?  Or, will he sleep for 3 hours?  Will he go to bed and only cry it out for an hour?  Or, will he want you to hold him until he falls asleep and the second you lay him down, BAM, eyes wide open.  Last night was a bit of a blur. What I do remember was 4am which consisted of a, screaming baby, crying 4 year old (who wanted water and to sleep smack dab between B and I) and a dog who wanted OUT of his crate (bark, bark, bark, bark).  We have this print hanging in the little's room.  It's one of my favorites.  I'm thinking I need to get one for our room that says, "Let your mommy and daddy sleep through the night, if you don't, when they wake, they will lose their shit"  Cheers to a better night of sleep for all!

Oh the places we will go.....or not.

The boys school is having a free event at the art museum downtown.  One of O's friends asked if we were going.  This got me to thinking; There are certain places that B and I know we can take the boys and everything will be okay. Okay meaning, no one will get hurt, talking loud (which is the boys normal tone) is acceptable and people aren't looking at us like we are crazy (thanks, we already know we are so no need to stare).  We know which restaurants we can go to, I know what times to hit the grocery store, Target and Costco.  I can say, without a doubt, that B and I have got it down! Yep, I am THAT confident.  There are other places that you won't see us within 50 feet of, and an art museum is definitely one of those places.  I mean, can you even imagine?  "Sorry about that Van Gogh, I didn't realize he had gum in his mouth when we left the house."    Today we went to see Disney on Ice.  Snoozer for the parents, but a great time for the kids.  I didn't even threaten them, before we walked in, and they all did great.  Okay, so a cake pop may have fallen on the ground, for a split second, before S picked it up again and put it in his mouth and H may have spilled a $25 dollar snow cone all over the floor of the suite.  Hey, if that's the worst thing that happened, I'm giving our family an A+ for the day.  What I saw, on this outing, was a lot of love between my little men.  A lot of little hugs, my middles sitting on my oldest lap, listening ears turned up the max capacity and my littlest little, who was passed around for 2 hours, did not make a peep (Seriously, the most chill baby EVER).  Now, let's remember, we were at an event that was VERY loud and VERY dark, with A LOT of stimulation and sugar, but I'll take what I can get.  Today was a good day and I have my little men to thank and my amazing husband who I couldn't imagine living this life without.

Oh, Bitter Betty....

I was standing in the checkout line, this evening, at Target.  I was SO not in a rush. B was home with the boys and I had been cooped up in the house with 3 of them for the past few days.  H has strep throat and has not been at school in 2 days. 3 tomorrow, shoot me.    Now, you would think if he had strep throat, aka a sore throat that hurts so bad to swallow, let alone talk, that he would have been quiet, while at home.  Not so much. Mr. chatty was himself.  LOVE that kid, but holy moly, he likes to talk, All.Day.Long.   Okay, sorry, where was I?  I deserved a weeknight trip to Target, damn it.  I was there for an hour, and it was glorious!  I strolled down every aisle and ended up at checkout with everything that I came there for (and a few extras).  Now, if I had taken the kids with me, even one of them, you can guarantee about 3 things would have been forgotten, at least.  So, I noticed the woman behind me had 3 items. I asked her if she wanted to go ahead of me.  "Oh, no, that's okay" she replied.  "No, really" I said, "my kids are at home, so I'm in no rush" and I giggled.  I don't think she found that funny, but accepted my offer and stepped in front of me.  As she was paying, she looked at me and said (in her, "I smoke 2 packs a day" voice) , "I was watching this show, the other night, and they said how when you have kids, things at home just get worse".  WOW.......Bitter Betty.  I looked at her and said, "Oh, I don't know about that, it's all good, they are such a blessing".  I was taken back, a bit,  but left there and couldn't get what she said out of my mind.  I would be lying if I said kids don't take a toll on your life, your marriage, sanity, a solid night of sleep or  sleeping in past 8am, going out to dinner and not paying the sitter $80 in addition to the $100+ that you spend on dinner talking about....well, the kids of course.  But NEVER would I say that my life has gotten worse.  More crazy, more demanding, more stressful, YES, but also, with all of that, I am woken up each and every morning next to my hubby and 1 or 2 or 4 of the kids...throw in a dog, that I love with everything that I have and everything that I am (thanks to them).  I go to bed every night (at some point), hopefully, only with B (but typically not) knowing that I am truly, without a doubt, the luckiest girl in the world.  I love, love, LOVE my: crazy, stress full, I want to pull my hair out and pour myself a stiff drink by 3pm, life.  It's not for everyone, but I wouldn't change it for the world.

Dear lady at Target-
I thought I was doing my good deed for the day by letting you cut in front of me.  For real, a "Thank You" would have been sufficient.

Regards,
The mom who's life has only gotten better with each crazy boy that her and her amazing husband have added to their family.

Peace Out!

Promise me (yourself).....

I stumbled on this quote a few days ago and it's been stuck in my head ever since.  The weird thing is, when I was at yoga the other night, our instructor was talking about something, that was very much in line with what this says.  I think this can be interpreted in many different ways, by many different people, at very different points in their lives.  Here is why it hit home for me;

1. My children.  I often question my parenting (I think every parent does).  Am I making the right choices?  Am I saying the right things? Am I doing everything in my power so that my boys will grow to be confident, courteous, kind and successful human beings? Or, I am fucking it all up?   At the end of the day, there is NO doubt that I love my boys, with every.single.ounce of my heart and soul.  I hope and pray that when I put them to bed at night they know this.  

2. Myself.  This is a tough.  It's been an emotional 6+ months.  New house, new baby, new school, new moms to get to know.  I'm tired enough, parenting 4 boys (one of which is currently boycotting sleep unless he his nestled up right next to you) to meet new neighbors, to have kids over for play dates, to make small talk with the mom at drop off.  I do, do all of these things but I'm just not feeling it.  But I need to accept (easier said than done) that I can't do it all, and really do not want to, and it's okay....I hope

3. My children + Myself.  Here's the deal, I WANT my boys to have friends (who doesn't), I WANT my boys to be liked (who doesn't), I WANT my boys to be asked over to friends houses AND be invited back.  I want the moms to like my boys and not think that I'm the crazy mom with 4 boys.  Whenever the boys go to a new friends house, I always remind them to say "please" and "thank you", to take their shoes off, not to pick their nose, and if they DO, PLEASE put in in a kleenex and DO NOT, I repeat, DO not fling it/wipe it/play with it.  By the time they walk out the door, I have severe anxiety and I'm pretty sure they are afraid to go over to their friends house, fearing they won't be invited back.  I think this is why this quote REALLY hit home.  My own insecurities, my own issues, my own anxiety that they won't be the perfect kids (because there are NO perfect kids), all trickle down to these boys, who at the end of the day, I want to be perfect.  Hot Damn, how CRAZY is that??  What is most important, goes back to 1. I love my boys, with every.single.ounce of my soul.  If you asked them if they know this, I am most certain they would say "yes".  

So, it's time to stop spending so much time treading...worrying about the bullshit, putting aside my own insecurities and time to start swimming, really just swimming....let it go...

Don't blink!

Whenever O hears M fussing, he will grab him, swoop him up into his arms, and bounce him around like he is his own.  It melts my heart when I see our first born and our last born (STOP, Yes, he is our last born so please DO NOT ask if we are trying for that girl) looking at each other, smiling, eyes fixated on each other.   I know, wholeheartedly and without a doubt that they have each others back.  Maybe not everyday, but for today.

 "Every cliche about kids is true; they grow up so quickly, you blink and they're gone, and you have to spend time with them now.  But that's a joy.  -Liam Neeson

Disclaimer: So I may have googled "cliche blink of an eye quotes" but DAMN Liam read my mind.....

I'm Sorry.....

O is becoming Mr. Know-it-ALL.  Is that what happens when they reach (almost) double digits??  O has always been the, pleaser, rule follower, easy one and  never veering from that straight line.  Lately, he has these bouts where is just a royal pain in the ass.  I'm not sure if he is making up for lost times of pushing the boundaries? But, Holy Christ I need him to stay easy...B and I deserve one easy one.

Every.Single.Day I question my parenting.  I went to bed that night, knowing that B and I must be doing something right.

Oil and Vinegar, Sugar and Spice

The middles were at each other's throats ALL day today.  ALL DAY!  It started at breakfast, because H didn't like the song S was singing.  It carried on to lunch, because we have 5 stools around our island, but they both wanted the same one.  Around 4pm (and this is when I had to make a stiff drink, no joke), they didn't want to share the damn blanket.  Please note that the blanket is  big enough to fit a king size bed, so surely it can fit two middles who together do not weigh more than 90 lbs and combined are less than 7 feet tall.  I think they managed to get through dinner? I may have had a bit of a buzz at that point.  It all went to shit at bath time.  Actually, they were getting along great, they have a blast.   It was the aftermath that had me scratching my head.  H steps out of the tub, S steps out of the tub.  Both dry off, comb their hair and all of the sudden B and I hear, "Sullivan JUST peed on ME!!"  Now, I know you are probably disgusted by this, right?  I actually giggled, quietly of course.  I mean, really??  Only in my house.  S decide to pee right on H, square shot to the back.  WHO does that?  S, that's who.  Anyone that knows S, would not be surprised by this behavior.  Needless to say, straight to bed he went.  5 minutes later, I went to check on him and my little angel was fast asleep.  I think he hung up his horns for the night.

TGIF!

Mandatory Family Meeting-TONIGHT 8PM!!!!

H asked me this AM what "doozy" meant. Let me just tell you, bedtime last night was a DOOZY! It went like this....

H wanted a piggy back ride upstairs, but S was already on Brett's shoulders. We gave H the choice, hop on daddy's back or walk up by yourself. Those were his two choices. H didn't like those choices, he wanted Brett to take S upstairs and then come back down to get him, so he chose to cry for about 10 minutes. CRY, very loudly....

S was in his bed, snug as a bug, BUT he wanted water. Instead of politely coming downstairs and asking for some, he let us know by SCREAMING on the top of his lungs, waking up baby M.

Meanwhile, O couldn't find his damn stuffed doggie. I calculated about 3000 minutes, over the past 9 years, that we've spent looking for doggie. That's 50 HOURS, if you were wondering. So, I tell him to put on his boots and check the car. He opens the front door and the dog runs out.

It's now snowing, REALLY snowing, Brett goes searching for the dog, through the neighborhood. The dog is a runner. He almost becomes possessed, when he gets out. There is no stopping him.

While O, baby M and I are waiting for Brett to come home with the dog, Baby M has a HUGE blowout, of course, why not.

By 10pm, Oliver finds doggie in the car, Brett finds Stitch roaming the neighborhood, Mac is still awake and we are out of wine.

Tonight, there will be a mandatory family meeting. On the agenda: 1. Once we say it's bedtime and you are upstairs, that's it, finito, no mas! No asking for water, no coming downstairs looking for something you forgot, no screaming from your bed, NOTHING. Mamma is DONE and Daddy needs a break.

 Please work with us, for the love of GOD!

SAHM vs. WOOTHM (work out of the home mom)

I was an outside, mixed in with a little bit of inside, working mom for about 9 years of my kids lives. Our 3 oldest boys all started daycare at 12 weeks of age.  I remember, with each one, it got easier to drop them off that day and head into the office.  By the 3rd, I was ready to get back to the office and sit down with a HOT cup of coffee, that was actually still hot as I finished the last drop.  As a working mom, I kind of felt like a warrior, a bad ass.  I prided myself in, having structure in our house, a hot meal on the table every night (okay, there may have been some takeout), clean floors (so maybe I hired someone to keep them that way) and the ability to provide the extras to my family given a dual income.

For the past year and a half, I've been a SAHM.  Lately, I've been struggling with this.  Don't get me wrong, I love the time with my boys.  However, the amount of time I spend in leggings, no makeup, a nursing bra and my hair in a bun has FAR exceeded the time I've spent actually putting on a pair of cute jeans and washing my hair....that happens maybe once a week.  I miss my work friends.  I miss using my brain for something other than 4th grade math and balancing the check book.

So, today, I woke up, dropped 3 of the boys off at school, nursed 1 back to sleep and took a shower...all before 9.  Unheard of, a bit of a struggle, but I had a plan!  I squeezed into a pair of jeans...barely, and put on some makeup, it felt good.  That's kind of sad.  What's even more sad, is when I went to pick up S at school, I think think I may have looked unrecognizable to the other moms.  Instead of my typical dis shoveled look, I actually looked...somewhat put together (until I came home and realized my nursing bra was totally undone from feeding M before we left).  Baby steps......

I don't know what the perfect scenerio would be for me?  Ideally, I would love to become a yoga teacher at night, while working at Lululemon during the day to get a sweet discount on some cute yoga clothes, but you know, that's proably not going to happen.

So today, I will love the life I lead, embrace this time with my kids (which is proving to be going by WAY too fast), try not to fall asleep before 10pm and love myself, love myself, love myself, must remember to love myself.  Namaste

Sunshine is good for the soul.

This January has been brutal, from a weather standpoint.  It's bringing me DOWN!  I finally got off of my ass and went back to yoga and it was awesome.   Yoga is my one hour of peace and quiet, without judgement.  It's my one hour to breathe, really breathe.

This morning, as we were walking to school, H said, "Mommy, do you hear that?  The birds are a chirping and the sun is shining, it's going to be a good day."  His spirit makes my heart melt, I hope he never loses that.

Today, I am thankful for the sunshine, both outside and within my children.

Acceptance...God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change....

GOD,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: middle of the night feedings, 10 poopy diapers a day, my oldest will never be an "A" student, I may never look like that 20 something year old, with perky boobs and the perfect bikini body....EVER AGAIN, My boys will and always will be boys. And yes, I drive a mini van, so please get off my ass and have some courtesy when passing me, damn it!

The courage to change the things I can: Start each day with a grateful heart. End each day and close the book, tomorrow is a new day, treat it as such. Get back to yoga, STAT!! Pull out those favorite jeans, they probably won't fit, try them on and get to work bitch. Become a better mom and wife (totally lacking in this department), pull it together woman, you are a mom of 4 beautiful boys and a wife of an amazing father and husband, pull it together, if not for you then for them.

And wisdom to know the difference: I'm not perfect, far from it. I've got a lot, I mean A LOT of work to do. This new gig as a stay at home mom, is tough! Probably more mentally, than anything else. There are only so many conversations I can have with an,almost, 4 month old. There are times I look in the mirror and I'm not sure who is staring back at me, but I don't think I like her. I think 'she' needs an attitude adjustment and maybe some warmth and sunshine and maybe throw in a day off for good measure. I've always preached, to other mommies, to take time for themselves, we all deserve that. I haven't done that in awhile. Need to make some changes...starting next week.

Moore, Party of 6!!!

Guess who added another boy to the mix in 2013??  The Moore family, that's who!  Macallister James was born on 9/30/13 weighing in at 8lbs 9 oz and was perfect as his 3 older brothers.   The only difference was (don't tell him) he was our "SURPRISE blessing"  and what a blessing he has been.   I am over the moon in LOVE with this little man and couldn't even imagine life without him.  God only gives you what you can handle and apparently he felt that we needed one more boy to add to the mix.  Let the craziness increase....as I type this, I hear something going down our laundry shoot, but it's not laundry and the pitter -patter of little feet just left the scene of the crime.  Welcome to our family of 6, I promise to keep you all entertained.  Happy 2014.