Gone WAY too long!

I haven't written in 6 months?!?  Where has the past 6 months gone??  Holy shit!  Stay tuned!  I've got a ton to share :)

Perfection does not exist...and it's okay!

I remember when we had O, the toddler years approached.  I mentally prepared myself for each and every outing.  How would he behave?  What would people think? Could we sit through a meal, at a restaurant, without him throwing something (and hopefully not hitting another diner with it)?  With each child I've become more relaxed, with my parenting and with myself.  I call it 3rd child syndrome and in all honesty, it's serving me pretty damn well.  NO ONE is perfect, not you, not your children, not your marriage and not your family.  If it you say that it is, I call bullshit!  There, I said it, and I do not feel bad.

 I think we go through life in our relationships and in our parenting, trying to portray that everything is perfect.  If our kids act out, what will people think?  If we have a bad day, will my peers think that I've lost all control?  If I fight with my husband, or people see us bicker, will they think there are problems in our marriage?  If my kids are fighting with each other, not listening to me or not behaving in the perceived "unacceptable" way, will people questions my parenting?  Who gives a shit what other people think, that's what I say.  I am okay that my kids are not perfect, I am okay that I am not perfect and I am okay that my marriage is not perfect.  BECAUSE, I know that my kids are loved, I know that I love myself and I know that I love my husband.

I always tell people that going from 2 to 3 kids totally rocked my world.  We go through ups and downs, daily.  I want to pull my hair out, at least once a day.  However, in some twisted, crazy way, having 3 boys has totally calmed me and taught me that perfection is non-existent, craziness is okay, and my life is my life.

Sometimes moms need timeouts too.

B was out of town a few weeks ago and it was a long day.  School, playground after school, homework, dinner, baseball practice and showers.  I THOUGHT the boys would be exhusted, I know I was.  I give HUGE kudos to single parents.  I don't know how they do it?  I am VERY fortunate to have my husband.  I couldn't ask for a better partner or parent to our boys.  When he is gone, it's almost like a little light bulb goes on, in the boys heads, and they feel the need to go ape shit crazy.  Last night was one of those nights.  No one wanted to go to bed, no one wanted to listen, everything I told them to do, they did the exact opposite. I lost it.  I put them all to bed, no books, no snacks, no water.....straight to bed.  Looking back, that probably did not help things.  That 20 minutes, before bedtime, of calming down, sitting together, reading, saying prayers, etc., sets the mood for them, to just go to sleep.  I did apologize to O and H, I felt bad, but at the same time, they need to realize that what I say goes...will they ever realize this?  If you haven't heard of the book, "Go The F To Sleep", I highly recommend that you find it and read it. I read it last night, after the calmness set in at my house (with a glass of wine), and I felt more normal.  Sometimes moms/dads need timeouts too.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day and I'm feeling FINE!!!!

In less than a month I will officially be a stay-at-home mom.  EEEKKK.  I LOVE my boys, really I do.  I also LOVE, love, love my time at the office.  It's not often that I can sit down, drink a hot cup of coffee and not have to get up, every 5 minutes to cater to my little princes.  As the time draws closer, I have many sleepless nights, countless hours of waking up in a panic, thinking, "what the hell WAS I thinking?"  I don't know if I'm cut out to stay home?  I love to shop.  LOVE it!  I love to buy my boys overpriced clothes and I am a sucker for shoes.  Besides getting out of the house, the other reason I work is to pay for my shopping addiction of unique boys clothes (which are NOT easy to find) and shoes/jeans.  At the end of the day, do my kids really need to best clothes?  Do I really need overpriced jeans?  I know that the answer is NO...but I have yet to mutter those words, when I ponder the questions.  What I do know is, I am going to enjoy every single waking, crying, whining, laughing, screaming minute with each of my boys, while I can.  I may want to rip my hair out, by 6pm and start drinking margaritas, while they are enjoying grilled cheese for lunch, BUT damn it, I'm going to LOVE being a stay-at-home mom, I'm going to LOVE it!  Right?!?  Let's be honest, I'm still going to shop, I'm just going to need to keep it on the down low!

Undivided Attention

Okay, so here's the deal.  I'm going to let you in on a little secret.  Being a full-time working mom, of 3 boys (3 CRAZY boys, under the age of 8) is really flippin' hard.  It is hard for a lot of reasons, however the hardest part for me is getting in that one-on-one time that each of them so desperately need AND deserve. 

I recently read an article on spending one-on-one time with your kids.   To sum it up, it said that if you take 5 minutes out of each day and dedicate those 5 minutes, without interruption, with your child, it will make all of the difference in the world.  5 minutes, we all have an extra 5 minutes, if not more...as parents we can do this AND we should want to.  

Yesterday, I picked up the boys from school.  O was on the playground, playing with his friends.  Of course, he didn't acknowledge the fact that I was there.  If he had, our eyes would have met and he would ultimately know that his time on the playground was limited because we would need to get home to begin the witching hour.  Did I mention how much I despise the witching hour?  This is the time between when I pick the boys up and when I get dinner on the table.  I like to keep this under an hour, to keep us all sane, but that doesn't always happen.  

Sorry, okay where was I?  So, I decided to grab H from his classroom.  Of course, like everyday, he was SO excited to see me.  It's one of the best feelings in the world, I'm not going to lie.  H and I went outside, sat on the curb and H pulled out the book he bought from the book fair that day.  We sat and read together, for about 5.. maybe 10 minutes.  During that time, it was him and I, no one else.  His brothers weren't around, the sun was shining, and despite all of the commotion on the playground, that valuable time remained about us.  

We sat close, his head leaning against my shoulder, it was priceless.  I told him how much I loved the books he picked out and how I glad I was that I was the first person that was able to read them with him.  He looked at me, with those gorgeous eyes, and said, "I love you mommy".  I love you too, little man, with all of my heart and soul, forever and forever and forever.  YOU are my favorite Hudson and my best friend.  It was at that moment that I realized parenting really isn't that hard.  As children and even as adults, we all want undivided attention and to know that they are loved.  Seems easy enough to me!  

When you can capture a moment like this.....

Hold on to it and cherish it forever!

I LOVE this little man with every single ounce of my heart and soul.  xoxo

Life is Good!

It's not often that I can say, I am peaceful and feel an overabundance of love, gratitude and happiness.  There is a lot of crazy shit happening in the world and I am happy not to be part of it.  My kids are healthy and happy and are surrounded by such an amazing group of friends.  My husband is a kick ass father, who is my best friend, supports, encourages, and loves me unconditionally.  I am about to start a new chapter in my life, which I am SO excited to share with my family and my friends.  It's going to be one kick ass summer!  I think I may be losing the stress lines/wrinkles, on my face, as we speak!