Recess

I often work recess, at the boys school.  It helps us earn service hours, which in turn lowers our tuition.  I also actually really enjoy it.  There is something about the innocence of a child that is irreplaceable.  The screaming, running, laughing, jumping, swinging, and ball kicking energy that each of these kids exhibit make you value life.  We go through life, as adults, at such a fast pace that we often forget the importance of play.  Taking time to step back, out of our daily world, and just enjoy the life we have been given.  Believe me, easier said than done.

But what if we knew it was our last day on earth.  A good friend of mine lost a dear friend of hers last night.  He left this world with a wonderful wife and two small children.  It was sudden, unexpected, but some how he knew it was coming.  I can't even imagine the sadness that is overflowing the lives of this family right now.  Everyday there is death and everyday  there is sadness.

At 36 years old, I still have a hard time comprehending death, especially when unexpected and definitely undeserved.  My dad past away 7 years ago and not a day goes by without me thinking about him.  My kids will never have a grandfather, but I will make sure that they always have the memories of what an amazing, courageous and loving human being he was.  Was he perfect?  Oh, no, far from it.  Is anyone perfect?  Imperfection is what makes us human and mistakes are what make us better people.

As I stood outside today and watched these children play,   I couldn't help but think, what if we could put all of these little people in a bubble?.  To never see hurt, to never experience sadness, to never be put in a position to lose a loved one.  Impossible, I know.  Innocence is a powerful thing and it doesn't last long, this I know.

When my 7 year-old comes home and says, (let's call him Bob) "said the 'B' word today."  When asked, what is the "B" word? He replied, "you know, B-I-C-H".  I said, I don't know that word.  He was quick to reply, "You know, bitch, the word that is all of the bad words mixed together".   Honey, if you can't spell it and you do not know what it means, then it better NEVER come out of your mouth.  He's in 2nd grade....what the hell is going to happen next year and the many years after that?

My husband and I often tell our kids to stop growing up.  We want them to stay small.  My middle one will always say, "we have to grow up, so we can become daddy's."  One day, daddy's they will be, I hope and pray.  Until then, I will continue to believe that they live in a bubble, of pureness and innocence.  Who am I kidding!