Brett World = It's ALL good man

Okay, so I have always left our names out of this blog.  There are some crazy people in this world....if you are one of them, get some help, for real, and stop reading my blog. There is a world, I call it "Brett World".  This is a world that I've coined for my dear husband.  You see, in "Brett World" the grass is always green, the flowers are always in bloom, the beer is always flowing and lap dances are given 24-7 (this is when I have to say, "wake the fuck up").  So, it's Friday night.  The end of the week. Time for a bottle, or 2, of wine.  Time to relax.  So... the night went like this.  I went to the store and was gone for less than 30 minutes.  I turned down our street to see a police officer sitting in front of our house.  Well, his car was in front of our house, he was actually standing in our driveway.  As I see him, I see our middles running along the sidewalk, with a couple of the neighborhood kids, AND I see our dog.  Our fucking dog who once spots an opportunity; a crack in the door, one of the middles running outside, the fence swinging open, he bolts.  Bolts with determination in his eyes, like a lion chasing his prey.  I pull into the driveway.  I know that the kids are safe, because I see them.  What/WHO I don't see is my dear husband.  "Hi officer, this is my house and that is my dog", I say with a smile, with my grocery bag containing 2 bottles of red, 1 bottle of Prosecco and some chocolate covered peanut butter pretzels (don't judge).  "That's your dog?" the officer asks.  "Yes, sir, sorry about that, the boys let him out all of the time, not on purpose, but once he gets out, he becomes possessed and won't listen to anyone, eventually he comes home, he is a smart dog, my husband is around here somewhere, probably with the baby, those are my boys, I'm really sorry about this".  Shut up, seriously, just shut up.  Good lord, is this REALLY happening???  "You know, I really should issue you a ticket, dogs can't be running the neighborhood.  People will start calling about a dog running lose, it's not safe" he replied.  Really, dude?  This is what you are focusing on tonight, go fight some real crime, for the love of God.    AND, where the HELL IS Brett??  I calmly ask H, with a smile on my face to,  "go find daddy, NOW".  "I am confident that you have this under control, ma'am", he politely says to me.   Yep, sure do.  Do you see my middle-little running around without shoes on?  Do you see my older middle, jumping on the trampoline without a care in the world? Do you see my husband, NO?  I don't either, so we have that in common.    Nothing says, "Happy Friday" like running out to the store and leaving the hubs home with the boys, only to return to a police office standing in front of your house, your middles running around the streets and your dog whoring himself around the neighborhood with the hubs nowhere insight.  Where was Brett?  He was inside, with M in one hand and trying to update his Facebook status with the other....life if rough in "Brett World".    SO glad I went to the store to buy wine......